Think back to the last time you spent an hour or more helping your parent with something, anything! Maybe it was researching which smartwatch to buy, opening a new investment account, teaching them how to use a new app, or accompanying them to a doctor’s visit. Even though you may not think of it this way, in all of these moments you acted as a caregiver (and yes a good son/daughter/non-binary child).
The face of caregiving is changing and the odds are that you, a sibling, and/or one of your friends will play the role of caregiver at some point in your lifetime. According to the AARP’s 2020 Caregiving in the US report, 1 in 4 millennials is caring for their parents. In the US, there are ~10MM millennials caring for their parents in the US and that number is only expected to grow.
Being a millennial caregiver is complicated! Millennials and their parents face new and quickly evolving caregiving needs as technology rapidly changes and age-related illnesses increase. Millennial caregivers are more likely to work full-time jobs, more likely to have student loans, and more likely to care for someone with a mental or emotional issue. All the while, these millennials are in a time in their lives where travel, social obligations, passion projects, career changes, stressful jobs, post-graduate school, personal development and so much more are competing for their attention. Millennials who choose to become parents must manage all of the above and are sandwiched between caring for two groups of people who both need their love and attention.
The traditional way that we think about caregiving is outdated and overdue for a reimagining with the modern context that we live in.
Merriam-Webster defines a caregiver as a person who provides direct care (as for children, elderly people, or the chronically ill).
While broad, that definition is still relevant. However, for many people when the word ‘caregiver’ conveys a person (most likely a woman aged 40-50), caring for an ailing relative. Others think of the paid caretaking professional, compensated by a wealthy family to regularly check-in with a distance shut-in relative or a single aunt or uncle who cohabitates with an older relative and has single-handedly managed their affairs for years.
All of these common tropes count as caregiving, but so do many of the activities that you are doing each day to help your parents. Let’s take a second to evaluate if you’re a caregiver:
- Have you researched an ailment your parent(s) mentioned to learn more?
- Have you helped your parents over the phone with a technical task?
- Have you helped an older relative make an informed purchase decision by helping them research or complete the purchase?
If you’ve said yes to any of these questions, then 🏆achievement unlocked🏆, you’ve taken on a caregiving duty. Props to you! You gave care — in the form of time, information, guidance — to them. You may be thinking but wait, I was just helping out my [mom/dad/family friend/uncle/aunt] do [insert relatively straightforward task] but the reality is that you have caregave for someone and the odds are that you will likely become a caregiver in your lifetime.
The term caregiver has never had a negative connotation but it also hasn’t been a title people (especially millennial) wear proudly. We have to ‘lean in’ our roles as a critical support system to our parents, family friends, and extended family. The sooner we start to take pride in supporting our parents and loved ones, the sooner we start opening up about the challenges of caregiving, and the sooner we proactively manage this inevitable role, the more likely we’ll be mentally prepared for the roles many of us will inevitably play.
Based on current trends, there’s a 1 in 4 chance that you will be caring for your parent or loved one in your lifetime. Are you ready?
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